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Synthesis - Columns

From 2008 to 2015 I wrote a weekly column for Synthesis Weekly under the name Zooey Mae. What started as an outlet to review graphic novels and comic books evolved over the years to cover everything from pop culture to whatever menial event was happening in my life. Looking back, I think I spent much too much time regaling Chico with tales of my allergies. 

Scream in Your Sleep you Will

Originally published in Synthesis Weekly: August 2010

Well hello dear nerdlings, welcome to my ninety-seventh column. I’ve been a little overwhelmed lately, as the influx of column fodder has far surpassed normalcy, and is now reaching critical mass. With all the summer comic projects being released, as well as all the upcoming projects shown at Comic Con hitting the web, there seems to be an abundance of material. Speaking of Comic Con, if you were lucky enough to go, you might have noticed some white folks picketing outside with signs reading “GOD HATES NERDS”. Good news everyone, the Westboro Baptist Church members have turned their narrow sights on Superman and his cohorts. You might be familiar with Westboro Baptist Church for their protesting of military funerals, or their oldie-but-goodie, “God Hates Fags” tagline. You might be wondering what their problem with comic lovers is, but don’t worry- they’re happy to explain themselves.

“If these people would spend even some of the energy that they spend on these comic books, reading the Bible, well no high hopes here. They have turned comic book characters into idols, and worship them they do!”

However, Westboro church members clearly don’t oppose Yoda, as that last line has to be a sneaky reference to everyone’s favorite nine-hundred year old Jedi Councilman. I’m not going to waste any more words on why these people are a completely ridiculous waste of human life, especially when the band I Can Lick Any SOB In The House has a song called “Westboro Church” that sums it up quite nicely.

Moving on! In other news, True Blood #1Amazing Spider-Man #638, Neonomicon #1, Batman: The Widening Gyre #6, and Punisher: Franken-Castle #19 were all recently released, and they’re all awesome.  Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World hits theaters soon, and although I’m a bit torn on the original work, I blindly adore Michael Cera, and will be seeing the movie regardless.

This week I’d like to leave you with a little gem I found online. I’m 100% convinced I’ll be having nightmares and post traumatic stress for weeks to come as a result of seeing it, and naturally I’d love to pass that along to you, dear readers. Hiroshi Ishiguro has created the most terrifying robot I’ve ever seen, dubbed the “Telenoid R1”. It looks like a mix between Casper The Friendly Ghost, and an albino quad amputee. It’s essentially a telephone, with each user sitting face-to-face with their respective nightmare dolls. The Telenoid mimics facial expressions and tone of the speaker, and is supposed to give the users the feeling the other person is in the room with them. I’m guessing that the no-arms-or-legs is probably so it can’t come to life and strangle you in your sleep. There’s a video posted online of this abomination, and if you dare, I highly suggest you take a gander. 

Arielle Mullen