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Synthesis - Columns

From 2008 to 2015 I wrote a weekly column for Synthesis Weekly under the name Zooey Mae. What started as an outlet to review graphic novels and comic books evolved over the years to cover everything from pop culture to whatever menial event was happening in my life. Looking back, I think I spent much too much time regaling Chico with tales of my allergies. 

Meet You At The Flag Pole, Bitch

Originally published in Synthesis Weekly: December 2010

“What, so you think you’re like, good or something?” The dark blur had appeared to me out of the corner of my eye, and true to Ms. Pac Man form, I’d ignored it. I had also mistakenly identified the blur as my friend miss Abbey Hill, so this dark blur didn’t immediately set off any warning bells. By the time that unexpected phrase had made it to my ears, I had already filed this identified blur under the category of “Threat, Not A” and so when I answered, “Well, I’m not great, I’m just doing what I can”, I was under the impression that there wouldn’t be an ensuing conflict. The blur struck out again, with a “well I could kick your ass”, it was confusing to say the least.  I glanced to my left and noticed with a sinking feeling that it was not miss Abbey Hill. A black-clad, black eyeliner-wearing female had slunk her way over to me and my subconscious, (or maybe wishful thinking) had tricked me into thinking this blur was my friend. I was confused as to how to answer, and when the misidentified female clarified that not only could she kick my ass, she’d kick my ass in real life, not in the pixilated wonderland that makes up Ms. Pac Man. In my Makers Mark-induced haze I shot back “I’ll meet you at the flag pole, bitch!”

Thus my week long trip to the Northwest culminated in an angry encounter at a bar that could probably described as a “dive”. Our trip had been punctuated with rain for most of the time, like forward slashes in Requiem For A Dream. (The book you boners, look it up.) All that rain must have permeated my brain meats, because when I swung by my old stomping ground at Floating World Comics, I ended up picking up Namor: The First Mutant issues one through four. With cover art by Jae Lee, who you might remember from The Dark Towerseries, this shoulddefinitely make it into your weekly Wednesday stack of comics. Issue #1 spins directly out of the ending to X-Men #2 where the team members have been dived to search for Dracula’s scattered remains. Known to undersea dweller as the “Aqueous”, the vampires have been wrecking havoc on the ocean floor, turning creatures left and right. With writer Stuart Moore, this series comes off as fantastical and eerie, without being overly dark. Boasting an impressive storyline and engaging characters, pick up this dark series before they disappear. In these winter months sometimes it’s important to take the proverbial sunshine where we can, whether it be in the shared inside jokes borne from road trips, the shameful indulgence of a comic series that lies heavily in dark matters or the slurred threats of a Ms. Pac Man Seattle creeper. 

Arielle Mullen